Ever felt like there's too much stuff going on in your head?! Or like everyone is carrying on about insulin injections and blood glucose levels, and all you want to do is shout "What about me?" Feeling sad, angry and completely over diabetes is ok, in fact it’s pretty normal. But getting your head around having diabetes and working out ways to deal with it is important so that you can get on with enjoying your life.

Because diabetes usually comes out of the blue, you're not prepared for it and your whole life's turned upside down, so it’s normal to feel:

• Angry • Sad • In Denial • Stressed • Guilty •

Ever wanted to shout “Why me?” or felt angry with everybody – yourself, family, doctor, even friends? You know they care but their fussing over you irritates you, and sometimes you wish they’d leave you alone. Anger is a tricky emotion; at times, nobody really knows what to do with it. You get frustrated easily, your fuse is extra short, and before you know it’s caused you a whole lot of trouble!

Sometimes it’s the way we look at and react to a problem that’s harder than the problem itself

Anger isn’t all bad… everybody feels it from time to time. It’s when you can’t get away from anger that it starts to control you, rather than you controlling it. Often people get angry at one thing in particular. Like when someone does something to you, like nagging or checking up on you, or when you feel disappointed in yourself or diabetes, it could even be a time of day thing – like when you’re tired. Knowing what things make you angry, helps to get you back to your old self.

Try thinking about the last time you got really angry. If you had to run it through your head as if it was a scene from a movie, you’d need to think about the actors, the extras, the set, the timing, the plot, and how it all happened. By thinking through a scene like this it can help you to understand what you did, why you did it, what you were trying to achieve, whether you achieved it and how it left you feeling.

If you could be the director of the movie, not just the actor, which bits would you cut and how would you change it? Sometimes it’s the way we look at and react to a problem that’s harder than the problem itself! Brainstorming other ways of dealing with it, like acting out lines in a movie, can give you some ideas of how the situation and your feelings might change. The most important part is choosing the ending and thinking about the steps it took to get there. Now it’s time to put that movie scene in your head into real life!

Sometimes you can feel down, alone and worried about the future…. Will your friends still like you, will they want to hang out with you or will they treat you differently? You might feel like being on your own all the time and not making an effort - it seems the easiest way out. These feelings might stay for days, weeks or even months. If this lasts for a couple of weeks, or if right now you dread having to get up in the morning and face people and things, you need to tell someone.

At times you need to tune into your thoughts to figure out why you're feeling down.

Lots of things can make us feel down. “Loss” (which can mean anything, like suddenly being different from others because you’ve got diabetes) is one of the most common causes of depression, but sometimes it’s hard to think why you feel down. You might feel low during times of stress, like exam time, if you’re sick, if something major has happened to you or your family.

Often when we’re preparing to do something, like going out or deciding what to wear, we imagine what other people might think, what they might say about us. Have you ever noticed that when you think your friends are going to say really nice things to you, you feel pretty good? Or when you think they’re going to laugh or tease you, you feel pretty low? This happens automatically, it’s the ‘thoughts’ that cause the feelings. These feelings can happen before you even leave the house to meet your friends!

Because our thoughts are so powerful in affecting how we feel, they sometimes require a bit more attention. Lots of thoughts are automatic; they sneak through while you aren’t looking. Like tuning in a radio to a favourite station, you sometimes need to tune into the whole world of thoughts going on in your head.

Some thoughts can make us feel down when they include the words “must” or “should,” like, she should do that for me. Should she? What if someone thought that about you, and didn’t tell you and then they were disappointed because you didn’t do what they’d expected? If they then told you they were upset with you, you may find you’d be upset too!! How were you to know?

So, our thoughts can be deceptive they can trick us into expecting something that might never happen. Luckily we can change that, once we tune in to our thoughts, we can start to change what we say to ourselves. Instead of thinking “she must,” try using the words “I’d like it if…” or “I wish.”

Often when we’re disappointed our thoughts go into over-drive and add some drama to justify how bad it is, the only problem is we start to believe the drama too! Sometimes diabetes can add drama to our thoughts like:

• thinking - "this makes EVERYTHING bad"
  
• deciding - "this ALWAYS happens to me"
  
• believing - "things will NEVER change"
  
• BLAMING yourself and making yourself feel bad
  
• believing that all of this means you can’t possibly COPE

At times like this we can need somebody else to help us to see the things that are still good, that things will change, that lots of things cause events and there are times when all of us make mistakes, and that although this is a really tough time, with help it will get better.

Denial is when you feel like pretending you don't have diabetes. Try not to think about it and maybe it'll go away.

Denial only works in the short term. Even doing a bit is better than doing nothing.

Pretending something’s not happening only works in the short term. It works because we go from feeling stressed and horrible when we’re thinking about something, to feeling pretty good and chilled out by forgetting it. Until, of course, someone reminds us again! Like when someone asks you “Are you low?", “Have you done a test?!” Then we feel even worse because we have less time to do anything about it and a part of us feels guilty because we know we probably should have been doing something all along.

Denial seems great when everything’s too much. Most people can’t swallow big things in one mouthful. So how can you make it easier to deal with? Maybe someone else can help out? Even doing a bit is better than doing nothing – one test a day is better than none at all! You might be surprised that just doing that little bit makes you feel better.

You might feel like diabetes is getting in the way of stuff you want to do. You've got exams, sports, friendships, partying - how can diabetes fit into all of this? You might feel out of control.

Everybody needs some stress to function, to get up and to feel motivated by the day. If nothing ever mattered, no one would be bothered doing it! We’d all be so laid back we’d be lying down! A little bit of stress makes us think about things and feel like we need to get them done, but a lot of stress makes us feel out of control and stops us in our tracks. Stress has a way of growing very quickly if we don’t try to stop it. Ever had a small worry that grew into a huge crisis before you knew it?

When stressed, try and take time to listen to some music, take some deep breaths, or do some exercises.

How do you feel when you start to feel stressed? Your heart may beat faster, you find it harder to breathe, you may be dizzy, hot, cold, or feel like you’re losing control and going crazy. The more stressed you are the more likely you are to feel these symptoms. Knowing when you are starting to feel stressed is important to help you to try to stop stress from getting huge and just too hard. Knowing the things that make you feel stressed, helps you to feel prepared and know you can deal with stuff.

What we think about things can decide how stressed we feel about them. Often when we have high expectations of ourselves to do well, or if we feel we’re not meeting others expectations, then we’ll feel more stressed!

When you feel that diabetes is taking over your life and causing heaps of stress, try and take time out to listen to some music, take some deep breaths or do something physical and distract yourself. Then, when you feel calmer, think about why you felt stressed. Was it because of what you were thinking? Do you have very high expectations of yourself? Are you trying to do too much at once?

Stress affects us in different ways, so what helps one person might not be so helpful for another. Before you can reduce or prevent stress you need to think about how it affects you.

Stress can affect you physically, which means it can interfere with your diabetes and make it much harder to control. It can disturb your sleep and your eating habits. Some people may be tempted to start drinking alcohol, smoking or taking drugs. Using any of these drugs, particularly when you’re stressed, puts your health at extra risk and you’re more likely to want to rely on them when you’re stressed in the future. Using them will only make a difficult situation worse.

Think about how stress affects you. That will help you to decide what will help "de-stress" you.

Stress can affects your ability to think straight, be patient or even concentrate on doing things. Doing activities that slow our thoughts and give our minds some space can help, like taking part in yoga, relaxing at home, having a bath, practising deep breathing and simple stretches, or distracting yourself by socialising with friends, or doing something active. Think about how stress affects you and that will help you to decide what activities will help to de-stress you most.

You feel like you've messed everything up, everyone's running around after you, it's making you feel bad - you just want to chill out. You can feel guilty when something bad has happened and you blame yourself. It can leave you feeling stressed and anxious. It’s like a switch in your head that says “you shouldn’t have done that, you should have done this.” Sometimes by feeling guilty you’re recognising you could have acted differently. Remember everyone makes mistakes, most people feel guilty, it’s how you deal with the guilt that’s important!

Talking with someone you trust can help you get through your feelings of guilt.

Next time you feel guilty, stop and ask yourself why. Was it because you didn’t look after yourself? Say you ignored your hypo symptoms and had to get a friend to help you, or you lied to your parents about doing your test! What could you do differently next time? If you can’t get the guilt feelings to go away, let someone know. Talking to someone you trust can help.

So what we’re saying is….feelings will come and go - you might feel all of these or none of these. You might feel like you're on a roller coaster - it's OK, which ever way you feel. Just remember talk to someone if you need to.